Sexual Harassment-Take Down Predators

So in talking about sexual harassment in the workplace, I wanted to talk about the mind sets of women. Women that should know better. Women that accept men talking down to them which in turn, lays a foundation for the acceptance of sexual harassment.

Recently, I had lunch with a woman who was retired from a job as a life-long secretary in New York City. She was an efficient worker, and had worked for professionals in a field for many years. She was good at her job and enjoyed it. She was very pleasant and a knowledgable woman. Except for the idea that women “had their place”.

She told me this story of acquiring her last position. Her new boss was deemed difficult and had acquired many secretaries before her. She was determined to stay with this man, because the money was good and she said, she didn’t think he was all that bad. So I questioned her, “What was considered so bad about him that so many others left after a few weeks? After all, if he couldn’t keep other secretaries, there had to be something about him that was wrong/harassing/too demanding in the workplace…?”

She went on to tell me that he was a boisterous man, and could be rather loud at times, but that didn’t bother her. And then the bomb hit. She said, “Well, you know, he would always call me honey, or dear, or sweetheart. But I didn’t mind. I considered it a name of affection. After all, he was my Boss.” And there you have it. He. Was. My. Boss.

So I asked her, “What if you called him, honey, or dear, or sweetheart?” Her eyes opened up to the size of saucers. She gasped, literally. “Oh my god, no!” she said. “I never could. He was my boss! That was not my place!” I just looked at her with amusement. “But it was his place to call you those terms of endearment? You have a real name.” She was looking at me as if I was the one making a mountain out of a molehill. “What’s the big deal?” she asked. “He didn’t mean anything. That’s what he called the women in the office. They were only secretaries. He was the boss.”  There it was again. He. Was. The. Boss. Giving him the right to demoralize anyone beneath him simply because of his title.

“But did he call the men in the office by anything but their real names?” I asked. “Oh no, always their real names.” she replied succintly. End of that question. As if I was ignorant for even asking the question in the first place.

No matter what I said, how I said it or why I tried to explain that it was wrong for this boss to call her and other women “dear, honey or sweetheart” instead of their real names, she just didn’t get it. Nothing I said could penetrate her armor.

When I look at women that support Trump, even though he has treated women demeaningly,  has been caught on tape talking about women in lewd and lascivious ways including women that have spoken out about his fondling and kissing them against their wills, I cannot understand their admiration of this man and his lack of morals. A predator is a predator. They do not change their coats. They cannot change.

I find this type of acceptance of men that push women down and negate them fully unacceptable. It only encourages them further. Years ago, I felt that surely by this time, our world would have changed. It has not. And apparently, with women still supporting these types of predators, it is not going to change in the near future. This is a deplorable situation for the young women of tomorrow.

I will say this again. You are your own person. You do not have to submit to a predator’s will. You do not have to be their fantasy. If you do, you are allowing them to continue their fantasy at your own expense. And with that comes the degradation of your own character. Stand up for yourself. Be strong and fight back. Take down predators one by one. We should not allow them in our world. If not for yourself, for your daughters, for your granddaughters. No means No.



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Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers by Chris (Reblog)

I could not stop reading this about children of the narcissistic personality. This is an incredible dissertation on what a narcissistic mother does to her child and how that child is disempowered. Anyone dealing with this type of personality can relate to the frustrations the human mind feels when they are in close proximity to this destructive force.

This is a piece for those to understand the hell the narcissist creates and for those that have gone through that hell and have survived a narcissist.

I found it incredibly empowering to read.



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My Health Quest

The Harpy‘s Child

The page for the children of the narcissistic
 The Destructive Narcissistic Parent creates a child that only exists to be an extension of her self. It’s about secret things. It’s about body language. It’s about disapproving glances. It’s about vocal tone. It’s very intimate. And it’s very powerful. It’s part of who the child is.  -Chris Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers 1. Everything she does is deniable. There is always a facile excuse or an explanation. Cruelties are couched in loving terms. Aggressive and hostile acts are paraded as thoughtfulness. Selfish manipulations are presented as gifts. Criticism and slander is slyly disguised as concern. She only wants what is best for you. She only wants to help you.She rarely says right out that she thinks you’re inadequate. Instead, any time that you tell her you’ve done something good…

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Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…)So How Did Daniel Hook Me?

It was all so easy. I was all so easy. I didn’t know exactly what a psychopath did to women that they met. I mean, I knew what they did, but I read about what they did. I was one of those people who read the horrible stories and thought that was far away and didn’t happen in the general populace. These people aren’t hanging around waiting and choosing their next victim. I was a sitting duck waiting to be picked up by a psychopath.

I was soon to learn. He chose me from a flea market where I sold left-over goods from my store. I was in the same spot every week-end. I would see him round the bend, clutching  this women’s hand ever so tightly, looking very angry every Saturday and Sunday. He would be wearing his Fire Responder jacket and cap with its station number on it. I figured he either wasn’t a morning person or they just didn’t get along. Either way, this couple wasn’t the happiest couple in the market, that was for sure.

Add to this picture that he was wearing a jacket that most people recognize as something of importance and stature, and he passed any degree of uncertainty. With this jacket he appeared to be an admirable volunteer, helping people.

He would saunter into my booth after letting go of her hand, while she would wander over to another woman’s booth to look at jewelry. While in my booth, he wouldn’t say a word, just look over what I had. Never say a word. Just look at my merchandise. Later on, he did admit to me, that he was looking me over to decipher me, to figure me out, to try to find a way in. At least he admitted that to me.

Months went by and I didn’t see him. I forgot about him. This was a huge market and thousands of people walked it each week-end. It was miles long and always very busy. As the summer went on, I decided to move my booth to another site. This might have been why I didn’t see him. He couldn’t find me. As I said earlier, this marker was huge. He would have had to walk miles up and down rows to attempt to find my booth. He did remark that he also had lost me and had been looking for me. At the time, I simply thought it was more of a friendly type of comment.

So a few months later, I see this man again,walking with this woman. This time he is walking a puppy on a leash. As my luck would have it, I am in the market for a new dog. I’d lost my shepherd earlier and was now ready to get another dog. This dog I could tell was of the shepherd variety, I didn’t know what, and it’s a common practice at times to sell pets at a flea market. So I call out, “Selling that dog?”

He veers right into my booth. She follows. The woman, who I am soon about to learn is his wife. She stands about ten feet away. He kneels down at my feet with the dog. I kneel on the ground to talk to the dog and him.

I say to him, “So you are selling this dog? Tell me about her/him?” And he does. He cuts me a deal. I ask about the woman. He says that’s his wife, but don’t worry about her. That’s why I’m down here on the ground with you, so she can’t hear anything that I’m saying to you”. I glance at her, but she seems oblivious to us. She’s looking around the market, not really paying any attention. I guess she wants the dog sold.

So we make a deal on the dog, he gives me his phone number, tells me to call him and off he goes. Before he leaves, he tells me to call tomorrow to tell him how the dog is doing and if he can visit the dog at my store. I tell him I might call, but the dog will be at my store and anyone can visit the premises. He tells me he knows where it is already. I ignore that comment because my interest is more on my new puppy. Some of my customers knew the location of my store from my flyers that I had printed and placed in my booth. Usually, they would ask for directions tho.

I bring my puppy home, she seems fine. The only problem is that she seems skittish. Skittish around women. As a matter of fact, one time I am brushing my hair, and I raise my arm with the brush to run it through my hair above my head. Sabbath flinched. She cowers away from me. I knew instinctively that this dog, this puppy had been abused.

The following Wednesday a man saunters into my shop, wearing sunglasses after dark. There are others in my store when he walks in. I take a double look at the man. It’s him. Who I now refer to as the psychopath. He gets half-way into my store and I tell him to stop. “Take off those shades”, I tell him. I want to see his eyes. No reason for him to be wearing them at this time of night. He does. “How’s the pup?” he asks.

I ask him about how he raised this animal. He tells me that she was the runt of the litter. How her sac hadn’t been broken. How he had to rip it open himself to give her life. (Playing into my sympathies here, I would imagine.) I tell him this puppy was abused. He reacts with astonishment. Then he narrows his eyes, and without batting an eyelash says, “You’ve just verified what I’ve suspected all along. I always had an idea that my wife abused the puppies. I would find this old rubber hose lying around. She must have used that.” I believed him. I had no other reason not to believe him. I didn’t know her. And I didn’t know him, either.

But he was hooking me in with the story of the birth of my new puppy, how he gave her life. It sounded plausible. How was I to know that in just a few years that this man who I thought was a life-giver to animals was also a life-extinguisher to the same defenseless creatures when he would decapitate one of my cats? The day he broke in and decapitated her, he also took a video of her running from him on my camera. He took some shots of her before and after the decapitation. I would find these pictures seven months later on the digital camera when he replaced it in a box from where he had removed it. I cannot explain the revulsion I felt of seeing my cat hiding from him on the highest place she could find, while I could hear his voice calling to her. Then seeing her bloody body in two captured for all posterity, for me to see. Imagining your cat being decapitated is one thing, but actually seeing the picture in front of you is a horrific sight that you never forget.

When I went to court with evidence of Daniel and his decapitation of my cat, the judge asked me if I had “seen him do it”. I had to answer no. The judge asked if I had any other evidence of his doing this. I told him that Daniel had left one of his tee shirts (it was a wife-beater variety) on top of the cat, he had left an expired picture i.d., and he had cut out an article from the newspaper that I had written about the ineffectiveness of the 911 system when you might be using your cell phone to report a problem. He had left those three pieces in my bedroom, along with the decapitated cat. The judge ruled it all circumstantial.

I understand the limits of the court. I had first called the Police Department to report this crime. If they had done their job properly, they would have been able to lock this case down with forensic evidence immediately. All the responding officer did when he came to my home was ask me, “What do you want me to do?” I had to try, yes try to plead my case with that officer. When that didn’t work, I went directly to the County PFA Office and told them my story. They agreed to allow a judge to hear what had happened.

When I heard the judge’s response, I was disappointed. Naturally, I was upset,but I knew the odds were not in my favor. Daniel was not going to kill the cat in my presence. That was not his style. The court clerk that was transposing the case was angry at the judge also. I could see her face as I and the judge were conversing. She seemed disturbed. She had probably heard far too many similar cases.

When I saw the judge would not waver in his stance, I took one more shot. I knew he could cite me for contempt of court at any time, but I didn’t care at this point. I took a deep breath and began. “Your Honor, I have one more thing to say to you, if you would allow.” And he did allow. “When you go home this evening to your wife (I saw a wedding ring on his left hand and took a guess) I want you to tell her this story. I want you to tell her how this woman came into your court this afternoon. Tell her the story of how this diagnosed psychopath keeps breaking into this woman’s home, and how he’s broken into it over 200 times already. Only now, he did the unthinkable. He decapitated her cat. But he didn’t do it in front of her, so you, Your Honor, could call it “circumstantial evidence”. He only left his shirt, one of his expired picture i.d.s, and an article from the newspaper that she wrote that referred to the effectiveness of 911 in an emergency using a cellphone. But those three items were not good enough to bring this diagnosed psychopath, whom Police have on record of breaking into her home over 200 times, in for questioning. So you are for all purposes letting him go to continue on his path of destruction. Who or what will he kill next? More animals? Or me?”

The court transcriptionist at this point was giving me a thumbs up and smiling broadly. I was shaking inside but standing tall. I continued with these last words. “Your Honor, I say this to you because I have been stalked and no one seems to be paying any attention. I have had a butcher knife held to my neck, and Daniel still walks free. Now he is killing my pets. Go home and tell your wife so she can look you in the eye and maybe, just maybe, she will recommend you to think before you allow the next psychopath to go free.”

I waited. I was waiting for the gavel to come down with a “Contempt Of Court”. It never did. He looked at me with eyes that said he could do nothing. He simply said it was over. Next case. On to the next person that he would decide their fate for the day.

So that was one of the hooks that Daniel reeled me in with, so to speak. He had stalked me for a while, unbeknownst to me. His love of animals that he claimed to have. Through him, I lost many of my pets. I still cry about them. Thinking of their untimely deaths at his hands.

To my animals that Daniel murdered and disposed of, May You All Rest In Peace. I know you are free in Summerland.



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Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…Red Flags#6…Not Me, I Wouldn’t Fall For Those Lies.)

Those lies. Those words. Those sweet words that he tells you. Those endearing, sweet nothings he whispers  that warm your heart and body. The beautiful language of the psychopath.

You tell yourself, “I wouldn’t fall for those lies. I’m too savvy. I’m too smart. I’m on to player types.” Sure you are. Most women know about players. We sit around and laugh and giggle about those type of guys. So what’s the real difference? Why is it so important to know the difference between a psychopath and a player? More importantly, do you understand that there are differences between the psychopath and the player?

To actually define what a player is, the term is a description of societal behavior. Other similar descriptive words that women might use could be womanizer, hustler or cheater. Looking at the description in, it lists “player” as:


player 3199 up290 down
A male who is skilled at manipulating (“playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases “play him for a fool”, or “play him like a violin”. The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.


1586 up388 down
a guy who:
(1) doesn’t understand the meaning of relationship
(2) is in full reproductive mode
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts)
(4) often “dates” several girls at several schools (girls are often unaware of each other)


613 up197 down
A man who seduces woman to make them think that they are the love of their life. Once the woman falls for the man, he casually asks her out on a date. When descirbing the date to her he will make it sound very romantic. ex. picnic on a beach, dinner and a movie, etc. The woman will meet the man and soon find out plans have changed. For some reason the man wants to stay at home. Since the woman likes the man so much she will not think twice about it. She will soon find out that the man only wants to be sexually with her and couldn’t give a damn about her, her life, or her personality. But the woman will give into the man, feeling that being physical will make their relationship stronger. When, in reality, the man has no intention of even talking to the woman after that night! The sad thing is that women who gets played usually goes back to the man, thinking, hoping, that there will be a relationship soon to come. But players are just comlete assholes. They’re manipulating and the only “feelings” they have are in the pants. AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS!!

See .

Granted, what is in the urban dictionary is written by the public. It’s written by society. It’s people’s emotions and feelings. It’s opinions. It’s crass at times. But so are players. So that’s why I chose that particular reference for the word player. I needed the definition of what most people think a player is, does and how one behaves.

So how do you see the real difference between a frivolous player and a true psychopath? They’re both losers. They’re both not worth your time. They’re both sporting huge red flags. But a psychopath will demonstrate the following behaviors:  be impulsive in their actions, superficial charming behavior towards you, manipulative, have a lack of remorse or guilt, have a history of juvenile delinquency, cannot control their behaviors, constant lying, uneven emotions, adapt his behavior to match yours, fail to take responsibility for his own actions, lead a worthless lifestyle (some), promiscuous with a variety of sexual partners and the list goes on. I’ve talked about a psychopath’s behavior in former posts, please see links below.

So you think you won’t ever fall for a psychopath? Ever fall for any of these red flag lies? Here are some more in my continuing list.

1. I would or I could never lie to you.

2. If you play your cards right, I can get you a job in your field. or

3. You know, I know the right people to set you up in a good job for you.

4. I tested HIV negative.

5. It’s you and me babe-we’ll make love in every place you can imagine!

6. When I tell you my wife and I lead separate lives, we do. Very separate lives. She even has her own bedroom.

7. I’m going to leave my wife.

8. I don’t love my wife. I don’t think I ever did.

9. Love my wife? She doesn’t  know the meaning of the word love. You know the meaning of the word love. 

10. It’s because of you that I understand what this thing called love is all about.

11. What attracts me to you is your mind. We can control the world.

12. We can be a power couple.

13. Imagine the power we hold together?

14. Do you see how people look at us?

15. I want your opinion, it’s important to me.

16. I beginning to think I really can’t live without you.

17. I promise you that I’ll change.

18. My wife and I have an understanding.

19. I agree, let’s be friends first.

20. Looks aren’t everything.

21. Your money is your money, I have no need for it.

22. What? I never said that. You are confused.

23. You make me feel like I’m in HS again…like a kid.

24. That’s not a tan line from a wedding ring. It was my grandfather’s ring.

25. I’ve never hit, nor will I ever hit a woman.

As I’ve said before, and I will repeat, these words spew forth from the mouth of the habitual liar easily. They form on the lips of the psychopath because he wants you to believe in him. The ideas forming in the mind of the psychopath’s mind are all about you. So whatever he talks about, must conform to your standards. Why? He must make you think that he is acceptable to your standards. How will he do this? He will study you, scrutinize you, learn all about you. He will take this information, wrap it into a neat little package in his brain. He will compartmentalized this information for safekeeping so that he can use it every chance he gets to make you believe he is the perfect man for you. He will twist your words, confuse you, frustrate you. He will do these things in a very short matter of time. And you are hooked. Unbelievably hooked.



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Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…Red Flags #5-Oh Those Lies He Tells Me)

Red Flags Of The Psychopath

Red Flags Of The Psychopath

As promised, the next set of 25 best lies he will tell you to make your heart tremble. The lies that make you speechless. The words designed to wrap around your heart and mind to sweep you off your feet and run to him with arms wide open because… because…well, you just know, you feel he needs only you.

After all, he’s told you this over and over. How much he needs you. How much he runs to you. How much you’ve got him. Or how much he’s got you. You are at a loss for words. But you know he’s got you. With his beck and call, you’ll run. Drop whatever you’re doing and go to him. His plan is working.

You’re not exactly sure why it’s working so fast, so quickly, so rapidly. You have no idea why this man has you wrapped around his little finger the way he does, but he did it. And he did it in a matter of days, or hours, even.

His audience,you,  enraptured with the thought of sweet promises. You’ve given him the key. You wait up for him. After hours, wait up for him. His car is parked outside between 1 a.m. and 5 a.m.  Or  between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m.   Or between noon and 1:30. How about from 5 to 7:30 p.m.? Getting the idea here? Restricted hours?

But the words he tells you make it ok. It feels so good to you and him. His words make everything sound so right. Of course they do.He’s watched you, read you, listened to you  and is now playing back a newer version of you. The psychopath’s version. What a guy. All in a matter of weeks he was able to choose you, figure out your idiosyncrasies, and spit them back out at you to make you believe that he is so much like you. What a match for you. How long have you known him now? Ten days? He’s a quick one to make you feel like this, that psychopath.

Red Flags #4, as promised, the lies, the words designed to make you feel special or wanted or you just might be the one in his life to turn it around and be his one and only. Remember, these are words many people say to each other. These words are said out of context after only a few days. That isn’t normal behavior. Or is it?

1. I don’t sleep around, that’s not my style.

2. I’ve only slept with…let’s see…probably 6 or 7 women in my life.

3. I don’t really drink, maybe I’ll have a beer when I’m out with a friend, but that’s really a rare time.

4. Drugs? Nope.

5. My wife and I don’t have sex anymore. Haven’t in years. It’s a sad situation. That’s what makes me so happy I finally found a woman like you.

6. Interested in other women? Why would you say that? You’re the only one for me.

7. I’ve never been experimental in sex, never had the opportunity. Wish I could have. Thought I was freak to think I wanted to.

8. When I’m with a woman in a relationship, I’m with her only.

9. Who? No, I don’t know that woman you just mentioned. (yet you have proof.)

10. I always use a condom.

11. I could never lie to you, you’re too important to me, don’t you see that?

12. My only sexual fantasies are about you, is that ok with you? I hope you don’t mind….

13. Believe me, if we have sex, it won’t change the way I feel about you.

14. Of course I don’t want you for sex only.

15. No, I’ve never had rough sex, or alternative sex, or BDSM. That’s not what I’m into.

16. I’d never do anything to hurt you.

17. It’s you and me babe, I want to grow old with you, forever.

18. I’ll always take care of you, aren’t you my responsibility?

19.  I’ve never done this before…you know, had an affair.

20. I’ve never been in therapy, ever.

21. I’d like you even if you were a man.

22. Don’t worry, I’ll stand behind you if you get pregnant, after all, I want you to have my child.

23. My wife/gf was a whore/whored around, I can see you’re not like that.

24. Women should be put on pedestals, like you.

25. I adore you.

Do any of these sound confusing to you? Especially when said to you right at the outset of meeting a new man? Some of these comments wouldn’t be shared with someone you’ve just met. Some of them are personal. Some of them designed to confuse you, some to frustrate you. Most of them, a lot of them, all of them? Are lies when spewed from the mouth of the true psychopath.

When the pathological liar, when a psychopath begin to asses his victim, he must move quickly. He assesses, he learns everything he can, then he moves in for the kill. I don’t use that word lightly. Some psychopaths do murder. Some psychopaths are quite violent. At some point in the relationship, there will be a down turn, and he will lose interest in you. The honeymoon phase will end, he will begin to look elsewhere, and the berating will begin. He may hold on to you for his own personal reasons, he may not. Regardless, your so-called belief as an object of affection with a soul mate that you couldn’t believe was possible has now ended. He has now finished playing with his toy.



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Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…Red Flags #4…Why Does He Lie?)

Pathological lying is a disorder. A psychopath suffers from pathological lying. What exactly is pathological lying vs. white lies vs. lying in general?

Pathological lying redirects in wikipedia to: .

Understand this is a completely different ballgame. Pathological lying can cover a myriad of dysfunctional disorders, including but not limited to :

What I am referring to specifically is the psychopath that lies. Why he lies, when he began lying and why he continues to lie. A neat little package with a lot of red flags that point to the person he is, including all of his lies.
I’ll name a few types of lies to help you understand what I’m referring to. Remember, these are his lines at the beginning of the relationship to reel you in and catch you before you have a chance to spit that hook out of your mouth. Within days of meeting him, you’ll hear these words spill from his lips, romancing you, caressing your mind.
1. I’ve never met a woman like you and never thought I ever would.
2. I’m leaving my wife, it was over anyway.
3. Now I believe in soul mates.
4. I want you to have my children.
5. We’ll never have to worry about money.
6. It was always her, she was the trouble in the relationship…I don’t know why I put up with her…guess I was the good guy.
7. I want children (I don’t want children) depending on your wants.
8. She hated sex,  she made me go to prostitutes, I feel so  dirty because of her.
9. I used to hate getting up in the morning, now I have you to look forward to every time I wake up.
10. I was the red-headed step-child in the house (or the abused child, or the hated son, or the disliked child, etc.)
11.You’re the the only one.
12. I want to make a commitment with you-now.
13. You are so wonderful…I don’t deserve you or you deserve someone better than me.
14.No one’s ever turned me on like you do!
15. My wife is dying and I cannot divorce her.
16. I love you.
17. I’ll call/text you.
18. Only you make me feel these tingles.
19. I swear I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.
20. That’s the best sex I’ve ever had.
21. Yes, I’m looking for a relationship.
22. No, I’m not into FWB’s. (FriendsWithBenefits)
23. I get tested monthly.
24. I’m not into random sex.
25. I’m not married.
Yes, some of these lines are perfectly reasonable when said in the context of a relationship that has been sustained over  time. A period of time that consists of months. A time when a couple has had time to explore one another, learn about each other and has divulged personal information to each other. When a couple has learned to trust each other.
Trust is an important factor in divulging personal information, confidential information and believable romantic promises. 
Many of these lines are designed to frustrate and confuse you. Remember you are his target. This is his scenerio and the psychopath is playing you. This is his game.
In the series Red Flags #4, the next 25 best lies you could hear.

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Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…Red Flags #3…

Red flags. Here’s your sign. Here’s your special guy. The guy you’ve been waiting for all your life. The one that you can’t believe you just found. He’s one in a million. He’s OMG. He does everything right. He’s says everything he should. He treats you like an angel (or whatever your choice word is.) Sex with him is off the charts. (If you decided to have sex with this flawed character.) He texts you good morning. He texts you good night.  He calls you beautiful. He tells you how you’re his soul mate. He tells you how he’s been with other women, yes, but none of them have compared to you. How unhappy he is at home, perhaps. How he’s been searching, never believing he’d ever be happy in his life, never at all. But now, now he’s found you. And you, he says, has given him hope that there really is a God. He helps you with housework, your car, yard work, problems at work, walking your dog, grocery shopping…he’s with you every step of the way.

Wow. And it’s only been three weeks since you’ve met this man! Not even a month! What a guy! What a Catch! What a Psychopath!

All carefully orchestrated within a very short period to reel you in and fall madly in love with him and not look back. All designed around you. How else did you think this man became so perfect for you? He watched you, he studied you, he looked for your signs, your likes and dislikes and your wants and needs. He watched you, he listened to you very carefully, he read you. He did this very carefully so that when you listened to him you would be amazed at how much of a match the two of you actually are. 

Amazing? Not at all. It’s what a psychopathic personality does. They don’t have any compassion for the other person. They don’t know what empathy is about. They don’t care about love. They could care less about giving back to humanity. They don’t want to actually help you. This has been a plan all along, carefully synchronized, to reel you in. The psychopath as the predator, and you as the victim.

Now understand, many men do this anyway. Many women do this. Many people will do this in the beginning of a relationship. When their pheromones kick  in and they truly like someone, they want to get to know then. They want to understand them. They need to learn about them so they can see just what their future might hold. So what’s the difference? And how can you spot the difference? Where are the red flags between these two situations?

The intensity, simply put. The intensity, coupled with the lies. The intensity, coupled with the lies, tripled with the coincidences. Put these three together and you get a fireworks display that will leave you panting and wanting for more, never knowing what hit you. While at the same happy time, you’re going to be walking on eggshells, astonished at your own feelings.

One is a good, warm, nice, secure feeling, while  the second is a bad, my gut doesn’t like this, I should walk away, something is wrong feeling. The first one that I speak of, the good, warm, nice, secure feeling puts smiles on your face, just as the second type does. There are fine lines between the two, and you should learn to discern the two . It does become incredibly easy once you identify the patterns of the psychopathic player out on the market looking for his next victim.

I’ll deviate here to say that psychopaths can become violent. That is why they are known to be dangerous. They just don’t play and if they don’t get their way with women, go about their way to find another woman. Some do, finding a release in abusing animals or abusing women in other ways. There are other outlets for their violent behaviours. Psychopaths can release through alcohol or drugs. And they can do these things without anyone else realizing they have these behaviors. Again, the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde syndrome type  of personality they don’t want anyone to see.

Hare Psychopathy Checklist

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Psychopathy checklist manual.jpg

In contemporary research and clinical practice, Robert D. Hare’s Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R) is the psycho-diagnostic tool most commonly used to assess psychopathy.[1] Because an individual’s score may have important consequences for his or her future, and because the potential for harm if the test is used or administered incorrectly is considerable, Hare argues that the test should only be considered valid if administered by a suitably qualified and experienced clinician under controlled and licensed conditions.[2][3] Hare receives a royalty on licensed use of the test.[4]

The two factors

Factor 1: Personality “Aggressive narcissism”

Factor 2: Case history “Socially deviant lifestyle”.

  • Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
  • Parasitic lifestyle
  • Poor behavioral control
  • Lack of realistic long-term goals
  • Impulsivity
  • Irresponsibility
  • Juvenile delinquency
  • Early behavior problems
  • Revocation of conditional release

Traits not correlated with either factor

  • Promiscuous sexual behavior
  • Many short-term marital relationships
  • Criminal versatility
  • Acquired behavioural sociopathy/sociological conditioning (Item 21: a newly identified trait i.e. a person relying on sociological strategies and tricks to deceive)

These are dangerous people. They are not safe to be around. Make no mistake about it. They ave very dangerous people. At some point, you will be the recipient of their violence. How many times in any relationship with a man who you are now questioning or reflecting, have they left marks on you? Have they “jokingly” smacked your arm hello or “happily” smacked your bottom, and you found bruising? If you remarked to them about the bruising, what did they comment? That they didn’t realize they hit you that hard? Did they even apologize? Or if they did, was there a glint in their eye?

How did they perform in bed? Were they able to perform in bed with you? If they were, were they concerned about you or themselves? Whose satisfaction was important? Remember, the psychopath’s agenda is purely their own, never yours.

If you are meeting a man on the side, because he is still with another woman that he says he doesn’t love, and he isn’t happy with her, then why is he still with her? If he says he has found his soul mate with you, if he talks of a life with you, then why does he even stay with her? More importantly, why did he even start looking for someone while still with another woman? A psychopath plays a variety of women all at the same time. You are not the only woman in his life. You will become the recipient of his promiscuity if you have not already.

A psychopath is irresponsible and impulsive. At any point, he can, may or will convince you to take part in borderline criminal activities that you find repulsive or against your social mores. It is important to realize that these men are very cunning and manipulative. They have a charming way about them. Once they have set their traps and you fall into them, it’s easy for you to agree with them on their ideas.

Above all the above, they very often fail to take responsibility for their actions. This leaves you holding the bag. Which turns out not to be a pretty picture in very many cases. Because of their pathological lying, they continue to build a path of destruction around those people who love them. Yes, those women that love them. Sounds strange, doesn’t it? That someone can fall in love with such an evil person? But women do. People do. They have no idea that such a personality exists.

Next in Red Flags, the lying. Why would he lie to you? And why would he lie in the beginning?



All works past, present and future are protected under a CCC. Creative Common License, Kaarie Blake Musings by Kaarie Blake is licensed under a Creative Common Attribution-Noncommercial-Noderivs-3.0-Unported License