Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…Red Flags#6…Not Me, I Wouldn’t Fall For Those Lies.)

Those lies. Those words. Those sweet words that he tells you. Those endearing, sweet nothings he whispers  that warm your heart and body. The beautiful language of the psychopath.

You tell yourself, “I wouldn’t fall for those lies. I’m too savvy. I’m too smart. I’m on to player types.” Sure you are. Most women know about players. We sit around and laugh and giggle about those type of guys. So what’s the real difference? Why is it so important to know the difference between a psychopath and a player? More importantly, do you understand that there are differences between the psychopath and the player?

To actually define what a player is, the term is a description of societal behavior. Other similar descriptive words that women might use could be womanizer, hustler or cheater. Looking at the description in, it lists “player” as:


player 3199 up290 down
A male who is skilled at manipulating (“playing”) others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases “play him for a fool”, or “play him like a violin”. The term was popularized by hip-hop culture, but was commonly recognized among urban American blacks by the 1970s.


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a guy who:
(1) doesn’t understand the meaning of relationship
(2) is in full reproductive mode
(3) is very good at making girls think he is into them (also very proficient at breaking said girls hearts)
(4) often “dates” several girls at several schools (girls are often unaware of each other)


613 up197 down
A man who seduces woman to make them think that they are the love of their life. Once the woman falls for the man, he casually asks her out on a date. When descirbing the date to her he will make it sound very romantic. ex. picnic on a beach, dinner and a movie, etc. The woman will meet the man and soon find out plans have changed. For some reason the man wants to stay at home. Since the woman likes the man so much she will not think twice about it. She will soon find out that the man only wants to be sexually with her and couldn’t give a damn about her, her life, or her personality. But the woman will give into the man, feeling that being physical will make their relationship stronger. When, in reality, the man has no intention of even talking to the woman after that night! The sad thing is that women who gets played usually goes back to the man, thinking, hoping, that there will be a relationship soon to come. But players are just comlete assholes. They’re manipulating and the only “feelings” they have are in the pants. AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS!!

See .

Granted, what is in the urban dictionary is written by the public. It’s written by society. It’s people’s emotions and feelings. It’s opinions. It’s crass at times. But so are players. So that’s why I chose that particular reference for the word player. I needed the definition of what most people think a player is, does and how one behaves.

So how do you see the real difference between a frivolous player and a true psychopath? They’re both losers. They’re both not worth your time. They’re both sporting huge red flags. But a psychopath will demonstrate the following behaviors:  be impulsive in their actions, superficial charming behavior towards you, manipulative, have a lack of remorse or guilt, have a history of juvenile delinquency, cannot control their behaviors, constant lying, uneven emotions, adapt his behavior to match yours, fail to take responsibility for his own actions, lead a worthless lifestyle (some), promiscuous with a variety of sexual partners and the list goes on. I’ve talked about a psychopath’s behavior in former posts, please see links below.

So you think you won’t ever fall for a psychopath? Ever fall for any of these red flag lies? Here are some more in my continuing list.

1. I would or I could never lie to you.

2. If you play your cards right, I can get you a job in your field. or

3. You know, I know the right people to set you up in a good job for you.

4. I tested HIV negative.

5. It’s you and me babe-we’ll make love in every place you can imagine!

6. When I tell you my wife and I lead separate lives, we do. Very separate lives. She even has her own bedroom.

7. I’m going to leave my wife.

8. I don’t love my wife. I don’t think I ever did.

9. Love my wife? She doesn’t  know the meaning of the word love. You know the meaning of the word love. 

10. It’s because of you that I understand what this thing called love is all about.

11. What attracts me to you is your mind. We can control the world.

12. We can be a power couple.

13. Imagine the power we hold together?

14. Do you see how people look at us?

15. I want your opinion, it’s important to me.

16. I beginning to think I really can’t live without you.

17. I promise you that I’ll change.

18. My wife and I have an understanding.

19. I agree, let’s be friends first.

20. Looks aren’t everything.

21. Your money is your money, I have no need for it.

22. What? I never said that. You are confused.

23. You make me feel like I’m in HS again…like a kid.

24. That’s not a tan line from a wedding ring. It was my grandfather’s ring.

25. I’ve never hit, nor will I ever hit a woman.

As I’ve said before, and I will repeat, these words spew forth from the mouth of the habitual liar easily. They form on the lips of the psychopath because he wants you to believe in him. The ideas forming in the mind of the psychopath’s mind are all about you. So whatever he talks about, must conform to your standards. Why? He must make you think that he is acceptable to your standards. How will he do this? He will study you, scrutinize you, learn all about you. He will take this information, wrap it into a neat little package in his brain. He will compartmentalized this information for safekeeping so that he can use it every chance he gets to make you believe he is the perfect man for you. He will twist your words, confuse you, frustrate you. He will do these things in a very short matter of time. And you are hooked. Unbelievably hooked.



All works past, present and future are protected under a CCC. Creative Common License, Kaarie Blake Musings by Kaarie Blake is licensed under a Creative Common Attribution-Noncommercial-Noderivs-3.0-Unported License



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