Red flags of the psychopath. There are so many. Some are hidden, some are open and some are designed specifically for you. In the next few posts I’m going to discuss what to look for as red flags and why you should not only walk away but run as fast as you can when you spot these behaviours.
Is he interested in you or is he interested in the unmentionable parts of your life? What does he find interesting about you? When two people meet, the normal circumstances allow them to learn about each other to see if there is a middle ground. Is he more interested in forbidden circumstances? Let me give you some examples. He could be partnered already, or you could be partnered. He is limiting time with you, but he doesn’t explain why. He doesn’t give you a direct phone number for you to call right away perhaps. He acts mysterious with you, while claiming to be romantic. Or perhaps busy with work. You shrug this off, seeing his excuses as ok, because he is so manipulative in his explanations. When he is with you he is so very attentive, how could he even be or care about another woman? At least that’s what you tell yourself.
He only has eyes for you, he says. He’s not happy. Or he’s not happily partnered. He’s been looking for someone like you all his life, where oh where have you been? Will you marry him? Will you move in with him? When these questions come hammering away at you quickly right away, and I do mean right away in the beginning of meeting this man this is not normal behavior. Sure, people fall in “like” easily. People fall in “passion” easily. Fall in “love” and want to marry in two weeks? Nope. That’s a huge step.
Is he following you around? Is the time that you had to yourself becoming shorter? Do you find him showing up at the oddest times coincidentally? Could he be stalking you? Maybe you don’t want to use that word stalking. Maybe it’s a frightening concept. Vulnerable women who are lacking in self-esteem will believe that a man who begins to play into them and deliver their ideal romantic fantasies immediately hesitate to believe that this behavior is abnormal. It’s a red flag. A red flag to put those running shoes on and hit the track.
Is he becoming demanding of your time? Is he questioning where you are or who you are spending time with? If you spend time with your friends, does he demean them without wanting to get to know them? Does he want to befriend them? Or does he want to sequester you away from your friends and family? These are ploys that the psychopath uses to divide and separate his victim.
When he is able to separate his victim from her friends and family, he is able to isolate her to himself. He is then able to sequester her alone where she is lacking a support system around her. She no longer is able to have family and friends around to view the irrational behaviors that will begin to start. When the psychopath begins the cycle of abuse, he will have divided her only defense. By manipulating her emotions towards her through romancing her and convincing her to believe that he is her true soul mate at that point, she truly believes he is her lifeline.
This is the time when the physical, emotional or mental abuse can begin. And who can she turn to? She is very often weakened at this point. She believes she has no one. Her friends are gone. She has abandoned her family. The victim has allowed the psychopath to swath her fully, first warmly and emotionally securely, only to set her up for the huge let-down that is soon to come.
That’s a scenario of a Red Flag. More to come.
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