Survival Of A Psychopath(With Borderline Tendencies…What I Will Own…)

The Twisted Mind Of A Psychopath.

The Twisted Mind Of A Psychopath.

I didn’t just pick Daniel. I didn’t just choose to be with a psychopath. I did not look at this man one day and decide to run away with him. I will not own up to that societal misnomer. I am the victim of a psychopath. That is exactly what I will own.

Chosen by a man whose mind is horribly twisted, I am a Survivor. A man who many or may not know the full  depths of his dark  and twisted mind. A man whose mind is so full of dark secrets that he admits at times through each of his personalities what his sick and perverted desires are and how he intends to carry them through. This man, who at times, turned into a little boy through one of his Dissociative Disorder states, didn’t fully comprehend what all of his fears were about, but simply knew that his world was a very frightening place to be. This little boy personality understood that his mind was quick, was cunning, and that he could charm mostly anyone, But at the same time, this little boy also knew that the larger than life figures in his world were constantly spinning around in his mind and he couldn’t control them nor make sense of them.

This  nonsensical approach to people in his life continued through to his adulthood. As a beguiling personality, he could work his magic on almost anyone. Daniel told me a story that had been repeated to me not only by his mother but also verified by a man who I met during my relationship with this family. This man knew Daniel as a little boy from a local  organization similar to a boys’ club and now he worked in the public sector in the district attorneys’ office. He saw Daniel grew up in a dysfunctional family and have run-ins with the law, live under a mother who encompassed her own psychiatric issues and had now met Daniel under new circumstances. The circumstances of a Protection From Abuse (PFA) because Daniel was diagnosed a psychopath with borderline tendencies and the victim was attempting to take action to the best of her ability at the time.

Yes, the psychopath had been diagnosed. Diagnosed by a prison psychiatrist. A sane person would believe this would be enough information, coupled with Daniel’s previous attempts on my life to grant any PFA permanently to the victim. Not only grant the victim a PFA, but also, given the circumstances of police evidence, police involvement, there should not have been any question in the judge’s mind to keep this psychopathic personality away from the victim forever. It was not to happen. Something went awry in the system. For whatever reason, it happened for the worst. For the worst for the victim, not for the psychopath.

Following in true fashion, if the psychopathic personality does not slip, it would be right that there are no mistakes and his plan would go on. The victim must always prove what has happened to them. Our society isn’t ready to understand the personal and psychological traumas inflicted upon us by these personality types.

It is already surmised that they have a true Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. However, the psychopath is definitively not a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality.  They are simply one-sided, evil, demonic personalities with one purpose in mind: to destroy that which comes into their focus. They use their finely tuned skills on their prey to extinguish any vestiges of light that may have been present. Once they have destroyed the beauty that once was, they now have a new toy. The easily accessible, easily stomped upon, throw away but always comes back toy. While they may keep this toy handy for themselves to abuse and play with, they still go out looking for more.

A Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality is one that will  break into two personalities. One, Dr. Jekyll is smooth, suave, sophisticated, charming, funny, romantic, sexual…he’s everything a woman might just be looking for. It a façade. It’s not real. It’s all a game. He will take you to new heights and find you what you want. He will research what you are looking for and lacking and bring it to you. But not in the name of love. In the cruel name of an evil mind that is twisted.

Mr. Hyde, however, is the man who can’t keep the charade going any longer. The Hyde side shows up as red flags perhaps in disagreements, or when you meet his friends and you don’t get along with them. Suddenly, you are made to feel as if you are constantly the person in error. Abuse can start, whether psychological or physical. Emotional and mental abuse can begin very simply with words that may seem innocuous . He might tell you after meeting his friends at a bar, while  they acted drunk and rude to you, that you “could have been nicer to them, after all, they were his best buddies, and besides, they were just being the boys…” So maybe you begin to think, they were just being guys with a little too much to drink. Maybe next time they’ll be nicer. NO! They should have been nice the first time AND he shouldn’t have allowed his buddies to treat you that way. In this little scenario, he’s just setting you up for the future, testing the waters to see how much you will take from him in acceptance. Do not take anything from him in allowing him to manipulate you.

When a psychopath tests the waters with you, they want to see how much you will take from them. How much you will allow them to deceive you, how much you will allow them to manipulate you, how much you will allow them to create the new you that they want you to be. They want to see how vulnerable you are to them. It’s important to stand strong against them, once you see their true colors, once you recognize the red flags, once you can see who they are for what they truly are…wolves in sheep’s clothing.

A psychopath is a truly evil person, there is no doubt about this statement. Make no mistake about it. Do not ever think back and wonder that perhaps he had a bad childhood or his mother or his father was cruel to him. Yes,  these criteria may have played into his personality and environment. But in no way does that excuse that he is indeed very evil and  could care less about what he does to you. He has no remorse and no shame.

While you are thinking about ways to make a relationship better and ways to better yourself, he is only thinking of ways to destroy you. That is the psychopath’s game. My words may sound very harsh. They are true. They are not angry words. They are factual. You are simply a conquest to him that he must acquire and overpower. Once he has done this, he goes on to others. It’s a sad fact that so many people don’t realize this personality and what it can do to a victim. How the hurt endures.

The hurt that a psychopath creates is not created out of a love that has gone bad, but rather, out of an evil abyss that he draws upon regularly to create his scenarios that he adjusts for his victims. Each victim seems alike in looks, in personality maybe, there are traits that each psychopath looks for in the person that he intends to victimize. He then adjusts his own stage for his new target audience. When you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you.

Unfortunately, until a psychopath commits a criminal act or a psychiatric act that will put him in an institution, he is at large in the general population. All that the public has for their defense is education about this type of personality. Today, on the internet, with its popular social site dating, it is very difficult to recognize this type of human evil. It’s not difficult once you recognize the signs and look for the red flags.

I will own that I was influenced by a psychopath. I will own that I went from a healthy state to a physically debilitating condition six weeks after I met him. I will own that while I was with a psychopath and not able to immediately ascertain my options to leave, I suffered Stockholm Syndrome. I will own that I was afraid. I will own that I am a Survivor of a Psychopath.

Peace,

Sorceress.

All works past, present and future are protected under a CCC. Creative Common License, Kaarie Blake Musings by Kaarie Blake is licensed under a Creative Common Attribution-Noncommercial-Noderivs-3.0-Unported License

 

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